Not a good day. I have been fighting with myself for months about whether or not to tell Mom that she has dementia. I so want to reason with her and help her understand why she is feeling the way she feels. She is so frustrated and confused every time I talk with her. I never know who she thinks she is talking to, and neither does she. I decided that today would be the day that I will try to explain to her why she is feeling the way she does.

I began by asking what she spent over $100.00 on at Kroger the other day. She said she didn't remember what she bought, cigs. groceries. I said "Mom, there are no groceries in your fridge. A carton of cigs is $60.00. Did you buy something for someone else?" She doesn't remember but she does know that it's none of my business. I asked about the three beers in her fridge: they were 16 oz beers, not the usual 12 oz beer she normally buys. She gave me some story about how they were easier to bring home. Nope. I know my mother. When she shops and buys beer it is always the 12 pack of 12oz Bud.

She asked me how I knew about her purchase and I told her Teresa had called and asked me if I knew what she bought. She was way pissed off that Teresa knew anything about her finances. I told her that Mike gets the info online and she thinks it's for Mike's eyes only. And he is the only one who has access to her checking account. OK.

In a nutshell, I told her that I needed to talk to her and that this would be a difficult and uncomfortable conversation. She asked; "What." I said "Mom, the Dr. told you that you don't have Alzheimer's. But, he told us that what you do have is dementia." OMG. She went off. "Who the hell do you think you are." "Mom, I am your daughter and I love you and just want what is best for you." At this point, she thinks I'm the nut. She just doesn't get it and obviously, I don't have a clue.

She then decided to turn on the TV. She wouldn't look at me. She wouldn't talk with me.

After about 20 minutes of her refusal to talk with me, I said, " Well, I guess you don't want to talk to me so I'll just go home." She said yes. As I was walking out the door she was mumbling something about me not having a key.

I'm going to call her in a minute to see how she's doing. Who will I be?

Apparently, she remembered that it was me who pissed her off. She told me her day was fine but she had to go as there were things she needed to get done. OK. That is her way of not dealing with a situation.

Usually, after a Sunday visit she calls to ask me to visit her. Not today.

I have no idea. I am so lost with this situation.