much ado about Ruth

Our optimistic thoughts about Ruth settling in and getting comfortable came to a screeching halt yesterday....she is NOT settling in and NOT getting comfortable...she HATES that place...stilllllllll.....what to do...what to do

I have laid low this week. Mike has visited 3 times to take her needed things and visit for a few minutes(that's about all he can take with her....he has a bit of a problem when she calls him an idiot for asking her a question about something she said...she is not my mother so I am a bit more thick skinned) I went over twice to deliver beer and visit...Cindy spent Sunday with her.... YETTTT...'she never has anyone who visits and her family has dumped her there and left her'....we are continuing to fight a losing battle...

Mike called her on Tuesday to check on her and she said she was so anxious and couldn't sleep.He talked softly to her and told her to try to calm down and he would be over Saturday.She was so glad as she had $60 she needed to give him for cigarettes...Mike asked me if she was out of her medication for anxiety...I told him she should be...

She called on Wednesday and needed to talk to Mike. I said I wasn't home and asked what she needed(that sounds way too harsh...I ALWAYS speak to her in a low crooning voice and always use the word Honey at the beginning of every question or statement...Ruth, who is the loudest person I know, has a real aversion to loud voices)..She said she had to get out of there and she wanted to come and stay with us...I told her I was on my way ...I picked up a new script for her, called Mike to let him know my plans had been changed and headed over...

Ruth was beat. She has not been sleeping and she was very anxious. Her tummy was bothering her again.She grabbed me when I got there and hung on for dear life.

I spent over 4 hours trying to lull her back in to a more blissful state. It was 4 hours of constipation followed by diarrhea coupled with hating the place, being left alone by her family, not knowing what to do, buying a new car, sex talk about she and Jack,discussions of the bad choices she thinks my kids made('Teresa, I don't want to say this wrong but I am just going to be blunt...why do you think your kids make so many bad choices? Do you think maybe you and Mike didn't teach them how to make good choices? Maybe you gave them too much freedom? etc etc")...ouch...I stay calm and let her rant on , at least we are not talking about bodily functions or her sex life...what do you think kiddos...did we give you too much freedom...HAHAHAHAHAHA...I patiently tell her my 8 children have made many more good choices than bad ...I also put my neck right back on the old chopping block and add that she just wants to talk about the bad choices she thinks anyone has made. I tell her I choose to look at the bad choices as teaching moments and focus on the good choices..She says I am so smart and wise....that's right..I am smart and wise...not that 'ignorant country girl' that her 19 yr old son married...I DONT CARE THAT SHE IS NOT IN HER RIGHT MIND>>>SHE SAID IT...

From 7 until I left a little after 9 ,she drank 6 beers and smoked 5 cigarettes AND took one of her pills...I bet she slept last night...I came home and laid outside in the kiddie pool Mike had set up for Haylee and Grace and breathed fresh air for a bit...she is killing me( me thinks that is her plan)..Needless to say, she was totally calm when I left( I know she was plastered CC BUT she was still calm)..As always, she loves and appreciates me more than she can ever say as I do so much for"us"(WHO WHO WHO IS THE OTHER IN US AND WE)...I always say I know and I am glad...

I do know that I can not wait as long between visits.