Alright, enough is enough. No more beer for Mom. Ambulance, drunk on the floor when they got there, just put her to bed. We have come to realize that she can no longer have beer, (good luck with this Cindy, CC or Claire.) Next Sunday will be a come to Jesus meeting and she is gonna be pissed. She will expect me to go to Kroger and get her whatever she wants. Beer will top the list as always.

I will look for that beer substitute that has almost no alchohol and tell her that it has the same taste and will quench her thirst for the beer. Hits the back of her throat just like she likes. ( I know.) Oh, she will be so angry with me, or whoever she thinks I am but I no longer care as she has no clue what is in her best interest. She cannot have any more beer. Period.

I am thinking I need to tell her what is wrong with her, but I don't think it would do any good. She just doesn't get it.

We're screwed.

Thank you Teresa for going back once again to calm her.

Just keeps gettin better

Todays excitement involved a fall(no injuries at all), calls for help, paramedics, yelling at the lovely female staff members to' get the hell out of here", and sexual advancements to the maintenance man and the paramedics.....

Can we say drunk on your butt...yep...that was the medical diagnosis...so much fun.......

We have got to get Ruth to stop drinking so much...

As always, the staff of Corinthians was wonderful...thanks guys...

I left her passed out on the bed...Sleep tight Ruth

Another Day...

Mike was once again on duty with Ruth today. He gets everything handled so quickly and gets back home. I end up there for hours. I just didn't feel like spending the whole day over there so he went to rescue her from the pits of no cigarette and beer hell. Needless to say, this is getting a bit out of hand. She went through a carton of cigarettes in less than 6 days and is drinking more than a case of beer every 4 or 5 days. I am all for her being happy and comfortable but we are spending more on her beer and cigs than we spend on our groceries for the week . I told Mike today that we are done..done..done..done. It is real simple, either she is going to have to slow down or there is going to have to be some help from everyone else. I suggested that we label each pack of cigs with a day of the week and TRYYYYY to make her understand that she can only smoke that days pack(good luck)...I say if she is out of beer, she is out of beer BUT that is ALLLL she drinks other than 2 cups of coffee in the morning.She refuses to drink any water, tea, juice, etc. Mike tried to tell her today that she was going through her beer and cigs pretty fast...She said she has beer with all her friends and that someone stole her cigs...neither thing is true...what to do...what to do...

On the positive side...she is eating in the cafeteria more and she says she has lots of friends and is so busy all the time. I say..hooray!!!! She called at 7:30 this morning and said she was desperate to get out of there. It was actually all about the lack of cigs. When Mike got there, she had gotten a ride from one of her friends, who has a car ,to the convenience store .She bought a cheaper brand of cigs and says she will start smoking them now....good deal...

I will go over tomorrow as she forgot to get her Tide when she was at the store with
Mike....soooo much fun for Mikey....

much ado about Ruth

Our optimistic thoughts about Ruth settling in and getting comfortable came to a screeching halt yesterday....she is NOT settling in and NOT getting comfortable...she HATES that place...stilllllllll.....what to do...what to do

I have laid low this week. Mike has visited 3 times to take her needed things and visit for a few minutes(that's about all he can take with her....he has a bit of a problem when she calls him an idiot for asking her a question about something she said...she is not my mother so I am a bit more thick skinned) I went over twice to deliver beer and visit...Cindy spent Sunday with her.... YETTTT...'she never has anyone who visits and her family has dumped her there and left her'....we are continuing to fight a losing battle...

Mike called her on Tuesday to check on her and she said she was so anxious and couldn't sleep.He talked softly to her and told her to try to calm down and he would be over Saturday.She was so glad as she had $60 she needed to give him for cigarettes...Mike asked me if she was out of her medication for anxiety...I told him she should be...

She called on Wednesday and needed to talk to Mike. I said I wasn't home and asked what she needed(that sounds way too harsh...I ALWAYS speak to her in a low crooning voice and always use the word Honey at the beginning of every question or statement...Ruth, who is the loudest person I know, has a real aversion to loud voices)..She said she had to get out of there and she wanted to come and stay with us...I told her I was on my way ...I picked up a new script for her, called Mike to let him know my plans had been changed and headed over...

Ruth was beat. She has not been sleeping and she was very anxious. Her tummy was bothering her again.She grabbed me when I got there and hung on for dear life.

I spent over 4 hours trying to lull her back in to a more blissful state. It was 4 hours of constipation followed by diarrhea coupled with hating the place, being left alone by her family, not knowing what to do, buying a new car, sex talk about she and Jack,discussions of the bad choices she thinks my kids made('Teresa, I don't want to say this wrong but I am just going to be blunt...why do you think your kids make so many bad choices? Do you think maybe you and Mike didn't teach them how to make good choices? Maybe you gave them too much freedom? etc etc")...ouch...I stay calm and let her rant on , at least we are not talking about bodily functions or her sex life...what do you think kiddos...did we give you too much freedom...HAHAHAHAHAHA...I patiently tell her my 8 children have made many more good choices than bad ...I also put my neck right back on the old chopping block and add that she just wants to talk about the bad choices she thinks anyone has made. I tell her I choose to look at the bad choices as teaching moments and focus on the good choices..She says I am so smart and wise....that's right..I am smart and wise...not that 'ignorant country girl' that her 19 yr old son married...I DONT CARE THAT SHE IS NOT IN HER RIGHT MIND>>>SHE SAID IT...

From 7 until I left a little after 9 ,she drank 6 beers and smoked 5 cigarettes AND took one of her pills...I bet she slept last night...I came home and laid outside in the kiddie pool Mike had set up for Haylee and Grace and breathed fresh air for a bit...she is killing me( me thinks that is her plan)..Needless to say, she was totally calm when I left( I know she was plastered CC BUT she was still calm)..As always, she loves and appreciates me more than she can ever say as I do so much for"us"(WHO WHO WHO IS THE OTHER IN US AND WE)...I always say I know and I am glad...

I do know that I can not wait as long between visits.

My visit with Mom today was pretty typical.

As I walk through the front door, she is walking toward me from the hallway that leads from the dining room to the lobby. As is usual when she sees me initially, she isn't really sure it's me until I say Hi Mom and give her a hug. She hugs me back and tells me how happy she is to see me and how much she misses me. She begins to tell me how tired she is. This has been the normal for months. She's just so tired. She can't understand why she is so tired.

We get to her apt. and sit down and she asks me if she can get me anything. I say no thanks Mom, I'm good. She asks "Can I get you a beer." "Uh, no thanks Mom, it's 11:00 in the morning and I just had a cup of coffee." She asks if I'd like another cup; she can fix me one, again, no thank you Mom. She seems to want to do something for me so next visit, I think I'll ask for a glass of ice water. Hopefully that will satisfy her apparent need to do something for me.

She tells me that the ashtray on the table next to me is the one we have to use. I remind her that I don't smoke in her apt. as it is against the rules and when I want to smoke, I'll go outside.
She affirms that I'm not allowed to smoke in the apt. but that she does anyway. I'm not going to argue that she shouldn't.

After about 20 minutes of endlesss chatter: about what, I don't know. My brain just goes numb after the first 10 minutes as I know how this goes. Then she wants to know what I want to do.
I have learned not to suggest the game room. As much as she enjoyed playing scrabble with me in the last few years, she has no interest. She talks about how they play Bingo and how stupid it is. I remind her that the few times I have played Bingo I had fun. OK. Let's go smoke. I can't go wrong there.

I went to Kroger and got her the necessary TP, coffee mate, milk, peanutbutter and beer. Before I went, I told her that she was going to have to start planning for shopping and take the bus. She goes off about how they go other places that she doesn't want to go. I am so wanting to get her what she needs and go home that I don't argue with her. There is just no reasoning with her as she just doesn't get it. I will try, in these next two weeks, to remind her that I can't be there and she needs to learn to take the bus or be left with no cigs. or beer. She has to learn to get some independence here. I am resigned to the fact that if she won't do it for herself, she will just have to do without.

When I was telling her goodbye, I let her know that I was not going to be able to visit her next Sunday as I will be working 6 days this week. She seemed OK with that. I know she is not OK
with it, but it is what it is. But, the fact is I will not be going next Sunday.

I'm finally home. Soaking in sweat from an hour long drive with no AC in 100 degree heat.

45 minutes after I get home, she calls and asks me to come back as she is so lonely. I remind her that I just left and she tells me she understands and it's OK. I know now that she thought the lady who visited was the other Cindy. Then, just a few minutes later, she calls me back wanting my sisters phone number. I ask her which sister and she says the one who visited her today. I tell her that I am the one who visited her today and in her confused state, she tells me never mind. I am screeeewed no matter what.

This so sucks.

The only peace I have is in knowing that she is in a great place and they take good care of her.

I know that there is nothing we can do to make her happy. I'm finally getting it and I hate it. In all honesty, I hope God will take her home, and let her rest in peace.

This is no way for anyone to live.

I love you Mom.

Cindy

My visit with Mom today was rather uneventful. I got to meet her new friend Elouise. They were both sitting in the lobby, awaiting my arrival. Mom was happy to see me but not like she had been every time I had visited before, which is a good thing, a very good thing. Before today she was so excited to see me and wanting to talk about how she is so lonely, miserable and how much she hates where she is. Today, the word lonely never even came out of her mouth. That, for me, is huge. She's not feeling so lonely anymore. Thank you Elouise.

I think the fact that she has found a friend has made her feel so much more comfortable. She likes this lady very much and I am so grateful that she has finally found someone she likes. This is a huge step in the right direction.

I will sleep better tonight thinking Mom is finally happy where she is.

Know that this can change on a dime as Mom is very unpredictable at this point. We do what we can and hope for the best and this has been my best day with her since she has been at Corinthians. I can only hope for this to continue. I do know better but for now, it's good.

The other good thing is she hasn't called me to ask me to come back. I don't know yet if she has called Mike or Teresa, haven't heard from them either, which is another positive sign.

Hanging in there.

C

WOW. What a great visit I had with Mom on the phone today. She was upbeat and positive for the first time since she has been at Corinthians. She actually told me she is happy. ( OK Teresa, happy dance again.) All of the people there love her and she has made alot of friends. I tell her how great that is and that I knew it would only be a matter of time before that would happen.

She then wanted to let me know about her visit with Mike yesterday. She tells me I should get to know him. I remind her again, gently, that I do know Mike as he is my brother. Then she asks me if I know that he came to see her yesterday and brought groceries. I tell her I do know as she had told me yesterday when I talked with her. She asks me if I know that he brought her LIGHT BULBS- 50, 75, 100 watts; soft, medium and bright, just like she likes. How does he know that's what she likes. I tell her he knows because he is her son and knows what she likes. She found it " amazing, just amazing. " Good job on the lightbulbs, Mike. Who knew it would mean so much to her?

She told me about all of the people at Corinthians who commented on her visitor; what a handsome man and he looks like you. (Sorry Mike, but I am told that I look like her too. Better than being told we act like her, huh?) She says how handsome he is and how good he is to her and I agree that he is he is handsome and very good to her.

She tells me once again about Teresa. She seems to remember this time that I do know Teresa. We have talked about her enough that I think it has finally sunk in that I do in fact know her. She tells me how good she is to her. I tell her that I know, Teresa has been really great. Mom says she buys her things, she buys her too much. She doesn't know why Teresa gets her so much stuff. But she does acknowledge the fact that she appreciates what Teresa does for her and I do know that at this point Mom considers Teresa her best friend... and I think, savior.

Just an aside here. If Mom had any idea what a total and complete bitch she has always been where Teresa is concerned, she would be begging for her forgiveness. Literally, on knees begging. But T being T, Mom doesn't need to. There is certainly a very special place in heaven for people like Teresa.

I am looking forward to a pleasant visit tomorrow after talking with Mom today. I feel so much better about how she is feeling. I hope to meet some of her new friends and see if there really is a new attitude.

Please know that I am not kidding myself thinking this is a major step forward. It is a baby step in hoping against all hope that she may be able to find some happiness or just a sense of calm that she is where she needs to be and to stay a little longer.

Way to go Mikey

Happy to report that Ruth is situated with what she 'needs' again. Mike picked up the staples for her(beer, beer and beer) and called her from Kroger to see what else she needed. It was a short list , he picked it up and delivered it to her. Ruth was out of the room when he arrived but they finally caught up with each other....how difficult can it be to find someone in such a limited space...

Mike said he feels like Ruth is becoming involved in her new home. C C is right, SHE HAS A NEW FRIEND...Eloise from upstairs...Ruth has visited Eloise and Eloise has visited Ruth...HAPPY...HAPPY...HAPPY DANCE

In general , it was the same conversation as always ... Corinthians is an awful place, want to go back home, food is awful,confused, tired, how did I get here, want to go back home...second verse same as the first...

All in all ...a good visit...



Way to go Mikey...

Yep. She called me earlier today and left the following message: "Cindy, honey, I need you to bring me some beer on your way home tonight, I think 6 should be enough."

She still goes back to when we lived right around the corner from each other and I could do that, no problem. I call her back and have to remind her that I live an hour away and cannot bring her beer. She then remembers and says she understands. I ask her if she went to Kroger on the bus today as she had told me she would. No she did not. Not going into detail here. Suffice it to say, she has a little problem from time to time and can't leave home. One might wonder if she has created this problem but I can assure all that she has not. It is a problem for her. Trust me, I know.

While on the phone with her, she told me about her new friend who is in her apt. watching TV with her and honestly, I thought it would be Teresa. But NO. Really, a new friend. I say "Mom, that's great. I'm really glad you found a friend." She briefly interrupts our conversation to ask her new friend if she can meet me, her twin sister, no, no, uh her daughter when I come Sunday. That's when I knew it wasn't Teresa; a voice I am not familiar with said yes. Yipee. Mom has a friend. Thanks new friend. I think I might love you.

As far as the financial needs are concerned, I think we need to do our best (? OK) to put restrictions on the cigs. and beer. Let her know that she can spend X amount each month and that is it.

I will talk with her Sunday about quitting smoking. She did quit for quite awhile and didn't seem to mind. I will talk with her about both of us quitting and maybe we could help each other get through it together. I won't be lying cause I really do need to quit too and I could use a buddy to help. It is not an easy thing to do. I have been giving it great consideration these last several months for many reasons. The price is through the roof and I think I would have more of an appetite and maybe put on a few pounds. That would be a good thing.

Giving up the cigs. Ouch.

hopeless in Carrollton

Our plan did not work. Mike called Ruth to be sure she was O K...she didn't go on the bus...she needs things...Mike told her he would go over tomorrow to either take her what she needs or take her to the store. That means I will go over to handle it.

She needs beer because her friend is coming over for lunch...YIKES...

just keep hoping

We have tried to lay low this week with Ruth. It is a very difficult thing for us (Mike, Cindy, and I) to do. The powers that be at Corinthians keep telling me it will be better for Ruth for us to stop jumping at her command...she sure has commanding down to an art form...As always, our main desire is for Ruth to become more comfortable where she is. She is still fighting it tooth and nail but we are listening to her rants less. We try to divert her to another subject when she starts complaining.

This weeks goal is for her to either give in and eat the food provided for her at Corinthians(she has many choices there) or to get on 'that damn bus' and go to Kroger. The end result of this is that it is supposed to make her feel more independent , help her to get to know the other peeps there better ,and help her realize the costs of the type of constant care we have been providing since she moved. Michelle says that she will the feel so much better and will begin to settle in. ...here's hoping Michelle...

The amount of money that Ruth has cost in the last month has been unbelievable. Mike and I have spent more than $2100 in one month on her. The cost for Cindy to drive back and forth is major for her. On top of that Ruth has had $2290 transferred over from her savings to cover her extra expenses over the last 3 months... We are worried...It has quickly become time for the siblings to step in and help , at least with expenses. As much as we want to, Mike and I can not continue to be the only ones financially supporting Ruth. For more than 20 years Linda, Cokie, Mike and I have been paying money each month for Ruths care. In that time Ruth was able to put away a little bit of money in savings . In the last 8 or 9 months she has depleted most of that money and we are still not in the time that the most expensive part of her care has begun. Cindy has told me that everyone has so much they are dealing with ...welcome to the club...our lives are no less complicated and we can lead the pack when it comes to being treated poorly by Ruth over the years BUT she still has to be cared for.

The one thing I can say for sure is that Ruth is a broken little woman who feels abandoned by her family. We all know that her life has been her choice but she now lives in a side world that she believes she was an'exemplary' mother and that she stayed in close contact with her own siblings. She can not understand why she can not go and live with one of her children or her siblings(all deceased or in a care facility). She thinks she needs to get a job so she can afford to move wherever she wants. She is even complaining about not wanting to go back to college as she has done that enough. We deal with this same conversation at least 5 times in every visit. She continues to believe that there is nothing wrong with her and that we are all crazy to think she can not live anywhere she wants. She is trying to figure out how to get another car and how she will get her furniture back so that she can move back home with her many friends and family members.She has no idea , no matter how many times we try to gently tell her, that she can not live on her own any more. The sad truth is, she is not many steps from needing to be put in a lock down facility...

At the end of the day we simply feel guilty. We know this is not our fault and that we have very little control over the situation. We know that moving her anywhere is not what will be the magic bullet that will make her happy. Her idea of what made her so happy before is false. She did not live in that world that she has chosen to remember. She was unsafe in Arlington and driving everyone crazy. She needs more care than we can offer and she needs to be in a safe facility. Her place is lovely but it is still a retirement home. She doesn't think she is as old as everyone else there .

Our goals this week can only be met if we can pass the test and leave her alone. I think this is the hardest part yet. I know my Mama would have never left her mother or mother in law alone to fend for themselves ,even if it was in a place as lovely and accommodating as Corinthians.. Of course, they were the normal sweet, quiet grandmothers that you think you will end up with. As my Daddy always said,"In the end, you reap what you sow.'' It is so sad to me that Ruth is now in that place. How I wish that she could have kept all lines of communication open with her children and that she could now be calm enough to be welcomed in any of our homes to live out the rest of her life being cared for by all of us. I see her on a daily basis and I know that is beyond impossible. SOOOOO we continue to do the best we can. Our biggest worry is that Ruth is going to continue to escalate in her negative behaviours at Corinthians and they will ask us to move her...we will be dead in the water if that happens...

Hopefully she got on the bus today and went to Kroger to get what she wanted. Hopefully that will accomplish all the things Michelle said it will. Hopefully Ruth will settle in and try to enjoy her surroundings and the care she is getting..we just keep hoping...

Another Pleasant Valley Sunday.
In fact, Mom was rather pleasant today. I'm beginning to think Mom saves her tirades for Teresa. (so sorry Teresa.)

She told me that Mike got her TV replaced and she is happy about that. She again told me that Mike had bought that other TV. I tell her again, I know. She talks about how good Mike and Teresa are to her. I tell her I don't know what she would do without Teresa.

She was restless, as is usual these days, and wants to take a walk. I stop to again look into the game/TV room. I tell her there is a Scrabble game and mabey we could play later. She isn't interested. Keep in mind that in the past, Mom would call me on my day off and ask if I could come over and play Scrabble. I would and we would play for hours. She's just not interested anymore.

We went outside to smoke a couple of times as she told she's not allowed to smoke in the room. Progress, mabey. I won't count on it though. We had company both times and I am sorry to say that I cannot bring this nice ladies name to mind to save my life right now although I have visited with her almost every time I have visited Mom. She can't be much more than about 70 and uses one of those wheeled walkers that you can sit on. (Wish I had invented those things.) With her oxygen tank and breathing apparatus secured to her walker, she is outside smoking. She is a very nice lady and I feel for her. But in all honesty, she seems to be a pretty happy camper. I like her alot. She is always very upbeat and happy to talk with anyone.

I was home for no more than an hour when Mom called. Oh no, what now. She asks me to come back. I tell her that I just left there and just got home about 30 minutes ago and explain that I am an hour away, it's 100 degrees outside and that my AC doesn't work. She says she understands.

An hour after that call, she calls again and asks me to either come visit her or come get her and bring her home with me. I explain again and let her know that she would go nuts in my car in 100 degrees driving the hour plus it would take for me to bring her home with me. She tells me she understands but I know she's pissed off.

Then, I get a bright idea. (Correction-bad idea.) I thought it may be a good thing for her to talk with her good friend Terry, who I don't think she has spoken to since she has been there. So I called her back and let her in on my bright idea. There was no answer. 5 minutes later, she calls me and asked if I called and I said "yes, I did. Mom, I know that you are feeling lonely and thought you might like to call Terry and see how he's doing. I don't think you've talked to him since you moved and he has called me a couple of times to ask how you are." She went off. She was down the hall and had to come back to her apt. to call meback after she heard the phone ring. She sounds very upset and wants to know why I called. Honestly, I was so confused by her response that when she hung up on me, I looked at my phone just stunned. Did she really just do that.

There is no pleasing or apeasing her. I don't think it's possible anymore.

Goodnight Mom.

In The Middle Of the Night...

Never a dull moment around here... At 12:00 A M I took a couple of Tylenol P M (that's right, this old Grandma is still a bit sore from kayaking with the babies) so I could get some rest. I laid down at 12:30 and was just dosing off when my phone rang...The most interesting thing to me about that situation is that I didn't have that 'sinking Mommy feeling' when I heard it, I had that 'oh my gosh daughter in law feeling' and immediately wondered what Ruth was up to...My feeling was correct, it was Stan from Corinthians saying that he could not get Ruth to go back to her room and that she was yelling in the halls and knocking on residents doors. He asked if I could come and try to calm her....I told him I would be right there...Important observation...It is a lot harder to quietly find stuff in the dark and to get dressed when you have just dozed off after taking Tylenol P M...

I pulled up in the parking lot at 1:00 Am to two police cars parked in front of the entrance...oh my goodness, oh my goodness...Stan let me in and apologized for calling so late.He said that Ruth had called the police...OH MY GOODNESS...He said she was so agitated and he tried to get her to just go back to her room but she wouldn't go. He said she kept yelling at him to ,"Sit back down behind that desk." I just kept saying I was so sorry. He said that he was there yesterday when Mike went over AGAIN to look at Ruth's T V but that she kept telling him that it was her husband who came by....hehehehe Mikey boy...We turned the corner and the officers were coming out of her room. They said they had gotten her back in her room(she had knocked on doors until one of the residents had let her in to keep her quiet) and that they had calmed her down.... I said ,"thank you so much." They asked if I had a key to get in and I told them no but Ruth opened the door right then and asked what was going on. She saw me and just waved her hand while telling me to come in , she needed to talk with me. It was like it was the most natural thing in the world for me to be there at 1 in the morning...

For more than 4 hours Ruth chattered away. She couldn't remember what got her so agitated. She couldn't figure out how I got in the room. She was so grateful to the nice young lady who let her in and saved her life...Ruth's take on the story was...She remembered that she went down about midnight to get Stan to set her clock to the exact time his was set at..she didn't know why she did that...she didn't know what happened next but when Stan stood up to come around the desk(my guess would be he did that to fix her clock) she realized how stupid she was to talk to this strange man because she had no idea who he was ( she has seen him many times)...she said he then told her to go to her room..now Ruth's little mind went into overdrive and she decided that he wanted her to go to her room to' rape her or do God knows what else'. She said she decided to become as loud and belligerent as possible as she thought her life was in danger...she said she knocked on door after door to try to get in to someones apartment...once she got in one, she decided to call the police so they could 'handle Stan'...It was a mess...Over and over, I explained what Stan's job is...she said I didn't know what his job was and that I was just plain wrong about him having any right to tell residents what to do...whatever... she finally calmed down...we chatted about birthin babies...women's roles in a home...kids decisions being their own choices and on and on...I told her about 4 times that I really had to go...I left about 5:15...she seemed fine...

Cindy called at about 10:00 A M to let me know that her brothers mother had called and needed toilet paper and tissues...we decided to be tough(HAHAHA) and have Cindy call her back and tell her to take the bus...I didn't answer my phone when she called...I tell Cindy about last nights fun...we are both at a loss as to what to do..can it get any worse..why yes little ladies, I am sure it can...Mike comes home early...we decide to just go buy her another T V today and take her some T P, kleenex AND Tic Tacs...last night Ruth reminded me how STUPID we were to get her such a HUGE T V and how stupid we were to not take back the messed up one sooner SOOOO we bought her a 27 inch one this time...When we got there Carla said she had been on the war path all morning and that the residents she was approaching would just shake their heads and walk away...what to do , what to do...She opened the door and ushered us in...She was so confused about the process involved in getting the new T V...we kept telling her that we just stopped by Walmart and bought another one....she just couldn't grasp the idea...She was sitting on the bed chattering away about how stupid it was that we bought the big one, how she HATED the letters HD on the T V as it just meant that you were trying to act important...chatter, chatter, chatter...Mike got it working as quickly as he could...She was thrilled with the smaller T V, she said she likes things smaller, it is not so pretentious...she said the picture is much better...it is perfect( Oh God, PLEASE let it stay perfect)...Mike told her we had things to do (HMMM, that would be Cracker Barrel)...she said how much she appreciated all we do...she seemed happy...as we left Mari asked how she was doing and laughed and said she couldn't believe she called the police. I explained what Ruth was thinking.She said she would get Michelle to go by and talk with her to be sure she was O K...they really are so great...We just want Ruth to calm down so they don't kick her out,we could never duplicate where she is living for what we are paying....

June 3...UNCLE

The last few days with Ruth have been draining. After my 'requested by Ruth's 6 calls today ' visit with Ruth, I am crying UNCLE and have decided I will take a break for a bit. We are making no progress in our quest to make Ruth any happier or more settled. She is down right mean at times . We are at a loss ...

The director at Corinthians has suggested that we all back off for a while. Once again, Michelle says we need to stop buying her beer, cigarettes , and requested foods so that Ruth will be forced to eat the food provided and that she will realize that she can take the bus to get whatever she wants....mmmmm......I think Ruth may be stronger willed than they realize but after today I think it is time to let her fend for herself....I think...

This week she has been more agitated, more confused, and more demanding. We are throwing in the towel on the new T V we bought her and taking it back to exchange it for another one. It is the only way to stop her complaining about it...I am sorry Walmart, I know there is nothing wrong with the T V but she will NOT leave everyone alone until it is done...

We have got to get the Dr's to help us out. Our biggest fear is that she will be asked to leave Corinthians...She has no idea what a nice place she is at. She thinks everyone is crazy for thinking she has any medical issues. There is NO possibility that she can live on her own again and she really is too demanding to live with any one else. I chatted with her about maybe having a room mate ...she said she would think about that...I told her she would have to understand that most people there do not smoke or drink...She said," Oh, I wouldn't let that bother me. I don't care if they don't smoke." I told her that she would have to find someone who did not care that she smoked and drank. She got agitated , waved her hand in the air and said," I don't care what they think about me smoking, they will have to get used to that."...we are fighting a losing battle. Ruth genuinely feels like she sets all the rules for everyone...

We all know how out of control Ruth feels. We know how much she hates where she is. We know that she wants her car back and to live with all her friends and family in Arlington. We are so sad for her. We simply do not know what to do to make things better.