May 11 Aggravated

I want to just stay home and plant flowers, work on Haylees quilt and clean the house but I feel the need to visit Ruth. She has not called and Corinthians has not called but I have a nagging feeling that I better stop by. I am testy before I leave.
Ruth's door is open but she does not answer my knock. I reluctantly open it and enter , calling her name. She is bent over her bed and does not hear me until I am in the room. She is dressed to leave the room and she looks around and greets me with a big smile . She is so glad I have come. She says she wants to get out of here. I suggest lunch .She says ,"Let's go." We go to the dreaded dining room, sit at a table , figure out it is someones 'regular' table and move to sit with 'Joyce'.
I have been told by several people that Joyce would be a good match for Ruth. What were they thinking? Joyce is very opinionated , doesn't like the food, has no problem telling it like it is ,ect..etc....Ruth's twin. I immediately see that this is not a good situation. I am afraid we are going to have a throw down in the retirement home. Ruth is getting more agitated than she already was. She scoots her chair back...we are done. I thank Joyce for letting us sit with her. Ruth says nothing. As soon as we clear the table Ruth goes off...she has nothing in common with Joyce and can see no reason that she would communicate with her. I say I understand. We head back to Ruth's apt.
Ruth says we need to talk. She has gone to the front desk and told them she DOES NOT want to have to keep her years lease. Carla tells her it is a month to month lease....OH MY HECK....I tell Ruth I think Carla is wrong as she signed a years lease(that's right, I know it is month to month). We are right back to ground zero. Ruth hates it here and is NOT going to stay... I feel like screaming... I go over our same 30 minute drill of what, when, who ,where ,and why she is here... She isn't buying any of it today. I try to bring up my brilliant idea of decorating her apt. She says it is the dumbest thing I have ever said. Again, I am dead in the water.
Today, Cindy has taken on many more roles. Ruth has divided everything Cindy does or is into Cindy, her daughter...Cindy, her friend...her other daughter... her kid...Claire... and that girl that lives near her in Arlington. Each Cindy has different roles and is either good or bad based on how she meets Ruths needs. It is very difficult to figure out who is who.
Ruth has decided she wants to talk about Linda today. She wants to know if I know her. I say I of course I do, she is your #1 daughter. Ruth says she has the best husband in the world. I say that she is right, Cokie is a great guy. She can't figure out how I know him. I say he is married to her daughter.She says she is confused and doesn't want to talk about it any more.
She wants to chat about her brother Dick who lives on the lake in The Colony. I tell her that is Mike, who I am married to. She is confused about that. She changes the subject.
She says she wants to go home. I go through the "where is home routine"....She is so agitated about it today.
She smokes 4 cigarettes while I am there. It is making me so sick. She is so negative about everyone and everything today. She thinks everyone is stupid , paid to be nice, dull, old, etc... She is wearing me down. She says she needs to wash some clothes. I say great, I will help her. She says she doesn't need any help. I say she is right, I am sorry. I tell her I need to go. She asks what I am doing this afternoon. I tell her I am going to the store then going home to cook dinner and work on Haylees quilt. She asks who Haylee is. I tell her who she is. She asks me to get the All out for her clothes. She then is dragging through the garbage bag for a box. She pulls out an empty box of garbage bags and says she needs that kind. I tell her I will get them for her.
We walk to the laundry room and put in her sheet and 2 prs of panties. I ask her if she will be okay this evening. She says she will be fine. I hug her and say goodbye.
I am down the hall when she yells," Teresa , Teresa." I jet back around the corner to see her smiling and she says," Tell Michael that if the ADT guys give him any problems for him to tell them to call his Mother." I laugh and say I will.

I am exasperated with Ruth when I leave. I am tired of her negative statements and her mean comments. I want to be mad at her today. Mike is home when I get there and I tell him I am not going back until either Ruth calls or Corinthians calls as she is just being mean . He says he agrees.

Ruth calls Mike and says she can't find Teresa. Does he know where I am. He says I have gone shopping and will be back soon. I tell him I will call her later. I try to call her but there is no answer. She calls Mike back and says she has been waiting in the lobby for me. He tells her that he told her I was not coming back today. She says she forgot . She says she was so worried about me. She says that she can't stand it when she has to worry about people she LOVES.... OH MY GOSH... she has said that to Mike about me. I just wanted to be mad at her, she can't even grant me that privilege for a day. Mike tells her to stay in her room and I will call her.
She answers her phone with ,''hello my dear''. I know that she really means it. I tell her how sorry I am that I wasn't clear when I left today. She says it was her fault. I ask her if she will be okay tonight. She asks if I am going to stay out all night. I say I will be at my home. She is confused and then says she understands. I ask her if she wants to do lunch tomorrow,. She says to come over and we will see. I say I will see her at 11. She says that will be great. I tell her I appreciate being worried about. She laughs and says good night. I feel like such a heel...Good night Ruth